Epiphany

  One thing I'm sure... I don't want a relationship. Because of what I said in my Nighty Night Thoughts and in Same Typical Story, now I'm sure I have to be alone. I can't take the risk of falling in love, or let someone fall in love for me and hurt him. I still need to understand if I really got over with my past.


  The thing is: I dated with a guy (lets call him Reinaldo, it's a funny name) for almost 3 years. It was good while it last, but in the last couple of months, our relationship changed, he changed, I changed. Our love wasn't strong enough to get over the constant fights, he tried and gave up. The lies began... When he gave up, I tried. The anger began... And it was too late. We weren't the same persons anymore.


  Bottom line: I'm sure I don't like him. He's a whole new person now, and that person no longer has any interest to me. But, I'm not sure if I got over with the relation we had. Sometimes your mind messes with your heart and they play tricks on you. I need to know that I'm not fooling myself before being with someone else.


  So, after this all logic deduction, why am I not happy with my decision?


J.